Not All Sports Channels Were Created Equal

I haven't really been posting for the last few days because I'm getting geared up for 2 weeks of European sports viewing action. Today marks my 1 week countdown to European vacation. Not the kind of European vacation that you might be thinking. There will be no Amsterdam or late night raves out at the Disco-tech. I won't be sleeping at a Hostel or meeting promiscuous Swedish twins that get naked at the drop of a hat. It won't be quite that good! It will however be a vacation in which I won't be bothered by my employer. Which for those of us that work way too much and get paid way too little is a godsend. I will be completely detached from the world (internet) for two weeks.

Once every other year my family and I make our pilgrimage to my wife's place of origin in the North of France. For two weeks I get to eat and drink as much bread, wine and cheese as I want. It has become a time for me to fully relax and give my mind a rest. The good thing about being American and going to Normandy (where my wife is from) is they love us there. The whole D-Day thing really gave us a good name. I guess if I were getting my ass annihilated and some people came and saved me, I'd be pretty stoked too.

Anyway, I usually feel like I'm the King of the castle when I'm there. My wife's family usually cater to me because I'm an American who only gets 2 weeks of vacation instead of the 6 weeks they get. Which means that I can wake up whenever I want and don't have to worry about my kids bothering me about breakfast. Another good thing is that when your French isn't that great, like mine, you can pretend like you don't know whats going on. I understand about 98% of what her family says and the other 2% I usually just say I get, but the speaking part is what saves me. I also watch as much television as I want and don't have to hear about it from my wife because of this. When they're talking about family things I slip away and start watching French TV. For those that don't know, European television is basically Cinemax-lite. The reason I say that is because it's like watching soft-core porn. There are always shows with naked women on, even at 9:00 in the morning.

When I'm done getting my daily fix of non-edited euro-sex action I change the channel to Canal+ Sports. This is France's version of ESPN. If you don't like Soccer or Formula 1 then you might as well change the station back to Debbie Does Paris or whatever sex-athon show that's on. You might occasional get a glimpse of some NFL or NBA highlights, but don't count on it. They pretty much get the same amount of air play as ESPN gives to soccer (little to none). Don't even think about Baseball highlights. The best thing about their sports stations are the sportscasters. They make me laugh. It always seems like one guy is always yelling during the highlights. I think they want us to believe that we're really at the stadiums with the fans or something. If it weren't for the UEFA Cup coming up while I'm there, I would really be in trouble. This year I will be in France for both legs of the Quarterfinals. I intend on going to a local pub with my wife's cousins to watch the matches and drink a few too many.

I hope to rest up while I'm there and come back to life in the States with a renewed attitude. One that will hopefully allow me to start blogging a lot more and focus more of my time on things I want to do rather than the things I have to do. I will be posting sporadically throughout the next week and will be on hiatus until April 16th after that. Au revoir!

Mid-Morning Roundup

Greg Oden deserves to party with hot white girls after last night's last minute swat. (The Big Lead)

Tubby Smith is going where? Minnesota is an upgrade? (Rumors and Rants)

Koby is still on a tear and apparently wants the ball. (Signal to Noise)

Joey Porter gets thrown like a little girl. (Sports by Brooks)

Nothing like the WAG of the WEEK to really research European culture. (The Offside)

Beer or Birth Control? You might want to splurge on protection. (AP)

Mid-Morning Roundup

David Carr gets shafted by the man, better known as the Texans head office. (Signal to Noise)

Suzy Kolber vs. Rachel Nichols. Who you got? (The Big Picture)

Tom Brady isn't batting 1000 anymore. (The Big Lead)

Falling asleep at a stop light when you have been drinking is never a good thing. (Deadspin)

If you have seen the movie '300' then you might want to enter this contest. (Bodog)

Is Kobe trying to pedal some 'Nike' to Durant? (LA Times)

A-Rod getting ready for the opt-out portion of his contract and maybe a new friend to have sleep-overs with. (NY Times)

Raiders sign the other Booty to play QB. I'm sure they will be looking at Jeff George again later this month.

Carmen Electra might be a lesbian? I wish it was with someone hotter, maybe like Sienna Miller. (Starpulse)

Late-Morning Roundup

Hey, if Jeff Garcia wants to parade around like he's straight I can respect that, but don't steal a playmate from Hef. (The Hater Nation)

All the other GM's want to be like Mike. (Signal to Noise)

North Carolina just love their basketball team. (Awful Announcing)

"Little Ronaldo" celebrates his birthday today. (The Offside)

George Foreman becomes a judge. It's not an eating contest, is it? (AP)

Scarlett Johansson likes the elderly. What the hell is she thinking? (People)

Dancing With The Stars - Better Known As Athletes Anonymous

Why didn't I DVR "Dancing with the Stars" last night? Oh, that's right, because I still have my balls attached. Although some of the girls on the show are hot, I just can't seem to muster up the strength to sit through stars ex-stars trying to revive their careers by learning how to dance on national TV. It's a popularity contest anyway. For some reason there always seems to be an athlete that does well in the competition though. Jerry Rice did well the first season and Emmitt Smith won last season. This season has Laila Ali, Clyde Drexler and Apolo Anton Ohno all competing for a chance to be in the spotlight again for 15 minutes. Laila will never get as much attention as her father, Clyde was unlucky enough to have played during the Jordan era and is an afterthought of many and Ohno (who?) ice skates for a living. Look guys, if you really want to be in a reality competition, then take Clyde's approach and go on "Pros vs. Joes". You might actually do something your good at rather than look stupid trying to do the Waltz with a tux on.

I guess I understand their logic behind being on the show, but I'm gonna hate having to hear about how good "Clyde the Glide" did on his Samba routine. It's just wrong! I guess if your really hard up and there is nothing else on TV you can give it a shot. I myself would rather watch the same episode of Sponge Bob Square Pants over and over again with my kids.

Bet On: Will Heather Mills prosthetic leg fall off during a dance routine on Dancing with the Stars 4? (Scroll to the bottom)

Mid-Morning Roundup

Pam Oliver vs. Stacey Dales. Who you got? (The Big Picture)

Tim Floyd gets a second chance and a team that doesn't suck. (Extrapolater)

Trouble finds those that can't keep their hands to themselves. Especially roid-rage NFL freaks. (The Big Lead)

Hooligan disguised as a Soccer Dad leaves his mark, an umbrella spoke. (Herald Sun via The Offside)

Where is Quentin Jammer when you need pass interference explained? (Signal to Noise)

Better get the shots and stripper pole ready for the new winner because we know what that contest does to innocent girls. (AP)

The Other Cobi In LA Is Ready To Retire

At a press conference today held at the Home Depot Center, 36 year old Cobi Jones announced that he will retire after the 2007 season. Tim Leiweke, President and CEO of the LA Galaxy had this to say,

"A couple of months ago, Cobi and I had a chance to catch up and have lunch," Leiweke said. "And we sat down and Cobi said, 'Look, there's something I have to tell you. I'm going to retire.'

"And I said, 'Well, that's too bad. I think we've got David Beckham.'

"Then Cobi immediately said, 'At the end of this next season.'

This is pretty big news for me. Cobi is one of the main reasons why I really took an interest in soccer more than 15 years ago. I don't know if it was because I thought he was Bob Marley or if it was his skill with the ball. I remember watching Alexi Lalas and him in the 1994 World Cup. The first time we actually made it to the knockout round. We eventually got beat by Brazil of course, but that team just had something about them and I think Cobi had a lot to do with it. Coby also played for the 1998 and 2002 World Cup Teams and has 15 international goals during his time with the National Team.

I always thought that he would be one of the few Americans that would actually be able to play oversees. He did play one season in the EPL and half a season in Brazil until he eventually came home to help the MLS gain popularity. He has played for the LA Galaxy since the leagues inception and holds the records for games(281), goals(66) and assists(86) for the team. I'll be interested to see how he does with Beckham on the team this year. I think that the Galaxy will definitely be up there when the playoffs come around (which isn't saying much because the MLS sucks). I hope Cobi has a good year and scores some goals. I'm sure after the season is done and he retires he will be announcing games and we can finally get rid of Eric Wynalda.

Cobi Jones to retire (LA Times)

Mid-Afternoon Roundup - St. Patty's Edition

It was a great weekend filled with Guinness and NCAA Basketball. I haven't been posting much because I have been busy at work and the tournament is on. Multi-tasking when you have two active boys isn't the easiest thing to do. Anyway, here are a couple of quick links and thoughts for you to digest.

Betting is definitely not my forte. I'm taking place in an invite only Battle of the Blogs over at NBX Sportsbook and so far I'm only $21,000 in the hole. (NBX)


Joey Porter just got paid and is handing out beat-downs. (The Big Lead)

The love-feast for Kobe continues... (Union Tribune)

Jerramy Stevens enters my list of top 10 guys not to live next to at #1. (Kissing Suzy Kolber)

Keeper vs. Keeper and you just got bounced. (The Offside)

Little brother got the hook up and didn't even have to dance. (People)

St. Patrick's Day - A Day To Drink As Much As You Can And Not Feel Guilty

It used to be a day that I couldn't remember due to the amount of Guinness I would drink, but now with the addition of my two kids, not so much. Tomorrow, on the other hand, I will be attending a "family-style" St. Patty's Day party. I'm not sure if that means I can recruit some of the older kids to watch mine while I drink or if I have to stay completely sober because everyone acts like they're Mormon. My wife hasn't given me the rundown so I'm hoping that it's an actually drinking event. Anyway, have a great weekend and a couple of green beers for me.

How To Survive Work When The NCAA Tournament Is On

Most sports literate people were smart enough to take yesterday and today off. I on the other hand have been forced to work because I have a planned vacation with my family at the end of the month and can't afford to. So what have I done for the last day and a half?

With a manager like mine you have to be creative to stay up to date with the scores. There are a multitude of different sites you can use to stay in the know, but I use a mixture of "live blogs" and the big two to help make my life easier. Thanks to the guys over at Awful Announcing and Deadspin I could actually get a "normal guys" play by play of the games. I also have the scoreboards on ESPN and Sportsline open at all times. I use the Split Browser Firefox add-on to have all windows open simultaneously. When I hear my boss coming I immediately Alt-Tab and act like I'm not wasting the company's money. One of my fellow workers was clever enough to hide a small TV on his desk to watch the games today. I'm trying my hardest to adjust my seat to watch from a far. It's definitely a juggling act and one in which I don't plan on using in the future, but if it gets me through the day without knocking my boss out then I'm happy.

Mid-Morning Roundup

Duke gets beat by VCU and help to make my life much happier. (Clubber Lang's Basement)

Tank Johnson gets 120 days in jail. I'm sure he's planning on celebrating with some uzzies when he gets out. (Chicago Bears)

The 4 vs 5 match-up isn't an easy one. It really comes down to what you like more, Blonde or Brunette? (The Big Picture)

Lakers lose their seventh in a row. Hey Zen master, have you heard of teaching some defense? (LA Times)

Eagles get the last white receiver left in free agency. (ESPN)

Oprah battles Leno for Posh Spice. Damn she's hot, Oprah of course. (Pink Football)

Carmen would rather stay home with me than go out with you. (People)

Michael Vick Just Loves The Pinot Noir

Michael Vick, I mean "Mike Vick" has opened his own winery, The Tasting Room, in suburban Atlanta. When I think of Vick the first thing that comes to mind is a good wine. I mean how else do you think he got the name "Ron Mexico" other than by being a connoisseur of fine wines. Vick is also trying to give back to the community with this new venture. Vick had this to say,

"It's good for people to see that I'm giving back to the community, where people can see me trying to do something that's positive. There's a lot of people speculating about things I do that are not so positive."

This is how you give back to the community? You open a winery? I'm sure all of the poor kids in town will be lining up with the parents for your next Chardonnay tasting. Why not build a park or donate some signed jerseys? Maybe it's the black substance found in the water bottle talking. Why else would he be opening a winery in the Dirty South? Is he gonna have Jermaine Dupree and Packman Jones over for an apéritif before they hit the strip clubs? What wine goes best with chicken wings and peach cobbler anyway?

Restaurant open, but not Vick (AJC.com)

Mid-Morning Roundup

Jenn Sterger doesn't care what she ends up doing for a living. Why not become the nanny for my kids? (The Big Picture)

Which % of the country will see which games? It's not looking to good for you if you want to watch the Nevada-Creighton game. (USA Today)

Suns beat the Mavs in double-OT. Steve Nash just won his third MVP. (SI)

Pete Rose is a douche-bag who bet on his team 'every day'. (The Big Lead)

Raiders impressed with JaMarcus Russell, and so are the all-you-can eat buffets. (2theadvocate)

Gary Matthews Jr. didn't use HGH, he just waited 16 days to say so. (Babes Love Baseball)

Mid-Morning Roundup

Lance Briggs is not a baby, he just needs a hug and some more money. (AOL Sports)

Niagara earn the right to get blown out by Kansas. (March Madness Time)

Europe's finest can't handle the red devils, but who can? (Fox Sports)

Those kindergarten kids are back to calculate the world soccer rankings. (FIFA)

I hate it when Unicorns take over at the wheel. They never seem to be able to handle u-turns. (AP)

I like the idea of cricket now, but only because you really showed me how to play the game. (Sports by Brooks)

P Diddy And Snoop Dogg Have A Soccer Fetish

Did you know that P Diddy and Snoop Dogg were soccer fans and are planning a wild night out with Manchester United later this month? Yeah, I didn't either. I guess that when Diddy and Dogg's tour rolls through Manchester they want the whole team to come to the show and party afterwards (lots of Cristal flowing).

I'm pretty sure when they were asked about the Manchester United futbol football team they were thinking American Football because this is what Snoop had this to say to MTV UK:

"I’m real anxious to meet the Manchester United football team - come holla at Snoop Dogg," he told us. "I’m down with football, I’ve been following it for 10 years, going to games, wearing the jerseys and what not."

Snoop it's soccer not the USC Trojans! The sticky stuff is really starting to mess with your mind kid. You need to clean the carb on your bong man. I think the Angel Dust is starting to mix a little bit too much. Most of these guys are white, and they kick the ball and don't wear pads and a helmet.

Diddy is linked to Wayne Rooney though. Rooney bid over $100,000 for a night out on the town with Diddy last year, but it never happened because Wayne wasn't 21 yet and couldn't go out drinking in the States (damn drinking laws). Maybe he wants to make it up to Rooney by taking him out and having a ménage à trois with him and his girlfriend.

Snoop to Party with Man Utd (MTV UK)
Diddy excited to take Rooney out (The Offside)

Mid-Morning Roundup

Quitting is never an option for Norv Turner (just sucking as a head coach I guess). (Union Tribune)

Who you got? Fill out your New York Legends bracket. (NY Post)

Yo Adrian! I'm starting to get a little flabby, I need some more HGH. I think I try to smuggle some through Australia. (The Big Lead)

The Mob won't be happy, Stardust gets imploded. (AP)

Nobody can tell Tapia what to do. If he want to go party, he'll party. If he wants to overdose on Cocaine, he'll overdose on Cocaine. (Sports Illustrated)

Manchester United play Europe XI today. I have prayed to the soccer gods to make sure that none of my red devils will get jacked up. (Manchester United)

All hands on deck. Disney sues Porn firm for making new comic version of Pirates of the Caribbean where clothes are optional, and so are three-ways. (US Magazine)

How Tom Brady Got His Groove Back

What a off-season for Tom Brady. First he finds out that he might be having 2 kids with 2 different "extremely hot" women, and then he finds out that he will actually have real receivers to throw the ball to when the NFL season starts again. The Patriots are definitely winning Free Agency right now and no one should be happier than "Mr. Tuck Rule" himself. Last year he had a bug-eyed freak as his #1 and now he has Stallworth, Welker and Kyle Brady. These guys are real targets that can actually catch the ball.


You might want to lock up the Daddy-to-be early for your upcoming Fantasy squad. If Stallworth can stay healthy he might have a career year also. I know Brady likes to spread things around (especially his man juice), but I think with a real big play threat like Stallworth Brady will chuck it his way more times than you think. I think the AFC East is in trouble along with most of the NFL. Being a Raider fan I loath Brady and can't wait till some Defensive End take his head off, but we all know that will never happen as he has been anointed the "Golden Child". If they trade for Moss then I'll be convinced the NFL is rigged.

A quick Raider note: Maybe we can sign some more RB's (Jordan, Rhodes, Griffith, Fargas, etc...) or TE's (Anderson, Wakefield, Steward, etc...) as it looks like we don't have enough of them on the roster. Maybe we can trade some of our Offensive Line because we have so many Pro-Bowlers to choose from.

Pats continue spending (ESPN)

Mid-Morning Roundup

Charger fans have a new reason to jump on the bandwagon. (Union Tribune)

When 6 games under .500 is a good thing. East Coast NBA Basketball just sucks. (Awful Announcing)

Chris Simon only gets a 25 game suspension for being part of the NHL mafia. (Bleatings From a Caps Nut)

The Head Butt King has turned down playing with the European All-stars against my boys, Manchester United. Now that's an All-Star Team. (The Offsides)

The hot chick from the MTV show "Laguna Beach", Kristin Cavallari got branded by her boyfriend. What's next a barcode across the back of her neck? (NY Post)

Hey Drexel and Syracuse, At Least You Can Still Win the NIT

Selection Sunday came and I'm convinced they have a bunch of kindergarten kids making the decisions behind the scenes. They must have showed the kids some school colors or the mascots and the kids got to choose their favorites. How else would Duke get a 6 seed and Drexel get left out altogether? Some of the interesting first round bracket busters that I possibly* see happening are:

Winthrop over Notre Dame
GT over UNLV
Illinois over VT
VCU over Duke
Gonzaga over Indiana
Oral Roberts over Wash. St.
Texas Tech over Boston College
Creighton over Nevada

East
I definitely think the East Bracket is the hardest (NC, Georgetown and Texas). Durant might score 50 a night, but their still not making the Final 4.

South
This is the second toughest bracket in my mind. You never know with a team like Louisville and Rick Patino and Tennessee could surprise some people too.

West
From the West Bracket I can't wait to see the Pitt vs UCLA match-up (let's get real you know this will happen). I like UCLA making the Final 4 again.

Midwest
Florida strolls through this bracket with maybe a good test against the Wisconsin/Oregon winner. Oregon looked good the other night destroying USC, but Florida is just too good.

These could change tomorrow but at a glance:

My Sweet 16: Florida, Maryland, Oregon, Wisconsin, Kansas, So. Ill, Pitt, UCLA, NC, Texas, Vandy, Georgetown, Ohio State, Tenn, Louisville and Memphis.

My Elite Eight: Florida, Oregon, Kansas, UCLA, Texas, Georgetown, Ohio State and Louisville

My Final Four: Florida, UCLA, Georgetown and Ohio State

Championship: Florida playing Georgetown with Florida cutting down the nets again.

* note: I don't count the 8 vs 9 games as upsets and I reserve the right to change my mind about any of these games at any time.

The Real Super Bowl MVP Signs With The Raiders

Everyone knows that Peyton Manning wasn't the MVP of the Super Bowl. It should have been Dominic Rhodes, who just signed a 2 year deal with the Raiders.

It's about time that we started getting some players in free agency. Now we just need to get an entirely new Offensive line, a Quarterback, some Receivers that actually want to play for the team and get rid of the Crypt Keeper and we'll be good. In a perfect world we would trade Porter to Indy for their entire Offensive Line. Trade Moss to Cincinnati for Carson Palmer. Trade Jordan to any team that has an actual running back and get Calvin Johnson #1 in the draft.

In other NFL Signing News:

Reuben Droughns was traded to the NY Giants for Tim Carter. Not sure what the Giants are thinking here. Droughns is garbage and has problems off the field. That's the best they could do? Good luck with all that.

Mid-Morning Roundup - Hoops, Futbol and Milfs

UCLA get ousted by Cal. Say bye-bye to the #1 overall seed. (LA Times)

Champions League draw set for the quarter-finals. I'm liking Manchester United chances even without the Swed. (The Offsides)

Top 10 Sports Blog stories. There's no chance you will ever see anything from me here. Have you read my stuff? (Our Book of Scrap via Chicago Sports Review)

Thanks George Bush, Peyton Manning is all messed up with this new daylight savings thing. (The Onion)

This guy deserved the Nobel Prize. I need one of these at home and at the office. (AP)

How the hell did she get knocked up? I'm pretty sure we used protection. (NY Post)

Lost Before We Even Began

So here's my dilemma, my 5 year old son's soccer team is a train wreck and needs help. It started off as a mess from the very beginning when the Director of the league died. The league was in disarray and so the coach of my son's team didn't communicate with the team until days before the first game (his first mistake). After the first practice, which was the day before the first game, I knew we were in trouble. The league was supposed to be for 5-7 year olds. We only had 7 kids and all but 2 of them were 5 or younger. Almost all of the kids had never played soccer before and some of them had never even played any outside activity. The coach, who speaks broken English with a Spanish accent, doesn't have a clue and it looks like the only reason that he decided to coach was because he wanted his son to play more.

The first game is played and our team gets very lucky. They don't have any kids under 6, but they are short a couple of players. The opposing coach lets us use all of our 7 against their 5. We still only manage 3 goals to their 6.

The next practice comes the following week and this is when I start to see that the head coach is completely clueless. He doesn't have any drills ready and barely knows how to do a couple of warm up exercises. This is when I decided to step in. Looking back it probably was a mistake. I should have just keep my mouth shut like the rest of the Soccer Moms on the sidelines, but I had to offer up my 2 cents (for future reference, I also ate paste when I was a kid). The thing is, I had never coached myself and found that I couldn't remember any specific drills to work on (it would have helped if I knew I was going to have to help out). Anyway, I offered to help him keep the kids under control. At this point they were playing pile on, and the kid at the bottom was three shades of green. I somehow manage to get their attention and we finished up the practice on a high note.

At the next game the head coach asks me if I can organize the kids while he pretends to be talking to parents about important things. I don't know if he's scared or worried that the parents will yell at him for doing something wrong or if he just doesn't know what the hell he's doing. I do my best to prepare the kids but they proceed to get annihilated by a much bigger and older team. This is when I find out from the coach that there is only four other teams and they are all stacked. It seems that when the Director passed away the rest of the coaches decided to build dynasty teams, or teams that had all of the older more experienced kids on them. Nice! We got the left overs.

The next practice comes and the coach still has nothing prepared. He tells the kids we are going to have a scrimmage. Except only 4 kids have shown up and no one is listening to him. I tell him I will run a drill that the kids will like and keep them entertained (Red Light, Green Light). It's not much but the kids seemed to be having fun and none of the kids are beating on each other although my son isn't really paying attention. (note: my son plays soccer well but doesn't take coaching tips from me because I'm his "Dad" not his "Coach") I run a couple more drills until the rest of the kids show up and then the coach says, "O.K. it's scrimmage time". What the f**k dude? I don't want to steal this guy's cool-aid, but come on. I close my mouth and act like he knows what he's doing. At the end of practice I tell him to call the league and find out what's going on.

The third game comes and mysteriously 2 new kids show up. It's pretty much like the movie "Kicking and Screaming" with Will Ferrell only that the kids really aren't any good. I think that the coach thought that these kids could help out because they were older, but they just make the substitution part of the game even worse. This is the game when the opposing coach doesn't pull any of his older kids and we get pulverized 20-0 (no joke). At the end of the game I tell him that he should have taken some kids out and he says that it wouldn't have been fair to his kids. (now I'm in Bizzaro World). This is when I tell my wife that we should just quit the league, but later after we calm down we decide that it's only the spring league and it's just for fun.

This leads me to the present day and my dilemma. We were going to call the new Director to tell him the issue, but they took the numbers off of the website (smart). We have emailed them with no response. Should I let my son continue the league and chalk it up to experience, even though he isn't learning anything new from this guy and he doesn't listen when I coach him? If so, should I continue to help coach? I just don't know.

Nothing Like The Smell Of Burnt Nuts

Some guy in Wisconsin burned his junk trying to pull off the same stunt they did in the Jackass movie. I bet anything that these fools were drinking St. Ides. Maybe these guys were hanging out with Dominic Rhodes and Koren Robinson and got bored. They decided to watch a movie and next thing you know their setting this guy's balls on fire. It could happen.

Man Burned (AP)

Morning Roundup - Ginger Kids, Baby Daddies and Fergie's Thong

Ginger Kid vs Sam Ryan over at The Big Picture. Who you got? (The Big Picture)

Carmelo a baby-daddy now. I wonder if George Karl will let La La and Kiyan hang out on the bench? (Rumors and Rants)

Kobe thinking with his "Rational Brain", or so he says. (LA Times)

Hey ladies, line up in front of the Patriots training facility and maybe Tom Brady might hook you up too. (The Big Lead)

Bollywood chicks are hot, just ask Peyton. (Sports by Brooks)

The skinny Ronaldo opens extension talks with Man United. You better pay the man. (BBC Sports)

Fergie does have a butta face, but damn she looks good from behind. (via The Big Lead)

NFL Signings Continued...

Joey Porter: (LB) - Signed by Miami - (5 yrs 32.5 MILLION)




Napoleon Harris: (LB) - Signed by Kansas City - (6 yrs $$$$$$ MILLION)




Jamal Lewis: (RB) - Signed by Cleveland - (1 yr 3.5 MILLION)




Patrick Ramsey: (QB) - Signed by Denver - (2 yrs 5 MILLION)




Daniel Graham: (TE) - Signed by Denver - (5 yrs 30 MILLION)




Luke Petitgout: (OT) - Signed by Tampa Bay - (3 yrs 15.5 MILLION)




and I have a new avatar...



...it's better than the gay ass Yahoo one I had before.

Hey OJ, Did You Use A Glove This Time?

Now OJ Simpson is claiming that he might be the father of Anna Nicole's baby. Page Six of the NY Post has this to say:

ADD O.J. Simpson's name to the list of Anna Nicole Smith conquests. When the blond bombshell died last month and at least three men claimed to be the father of her baby girl, Dannielynn, the double-murder acquittee "said he was throwing his hat into the ring," Norm Pardo told Page Six. Pardo is the videographer who amassed 70 hours of footage of Simpson from 2000 to 2005. "He said he knew Anna Nicole pretty well, and he said he had slow-moving sperm, and he might be the father." Simpson and Smith were castmates in "Naked Gun 331/3: The Final Insult" (1994), and Anna Nicole was certainly O.J.'s type. His murdered wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, was also blond and busty. Simpson, who often visits the Bahamas, also joked to Pardo, "I hope they don't do a DNA test on Anna Nicole's baby. If they find out Dannielynn is mine, I don't want Fred Goldman trying to seize her money - or the baby herself." Goldman - the father of Ron Goldman, who was killed with Nicole - has been the most relentless in pursuing damages over the murders in civil court after Simpson was acquitted on criminal charges.

Who didn't Anna Nicole Smith bang? It seems like every guy that she has ever met has some how managed to hit that. OJ is just the next in a long, very long line of guys who will say that the child is theirs. I'm betting the next will be David Hasselhoff. Who you got?


Guess who else doinked Anna Nicole? (Our Book of Scrap)
OJ A Smith Dad Candidate (NY Post)

Morning Roundup - Drugs, Extortion and Naked American Idol Girls

John Rocker took HGH? The guy was just waiting for some more time in the spot light. Hey John, your 15 minutes are up! (Rumors and Rants)

Ron Artest finally caught Bitch-slapping. This guy needs a home gym with a heavy bag. (USA Today)

Ronnie Belliard gets extorted. You might want to keep your junk in your pants. (Sports Illustrated)

American Idol girls - there's good naked and bad naked, you figure out which is which. (Metroville)

Barca Falls, Inters Out, Later Lyon and Here Comes Chelsea

So about two weeks ago the sound on my TV goes out. I check to make sure that the TV in the other room is working right and realize that it's probably the cable. So I call Cox Communications and find out that my cable box is shot. They come the next day to replace the box and my loving wife asks about the DVR I have been wanting. They say they are running a special that allows me to use the DVR for 1 month FREE. Just in time for UEFA. You see I actually have a day job that doesn't allow me to watch TV, so the DVR thing comes in handy. I tried my hardest not to see the scores all day today until I got home to watch what was recorded on the DVR, but that wasn't going to happen because I run a sports blog, remember?

Anyway, I actually did watch the (1-0) Barca vs Liverpool game just because. It was a great game that I think Liverpool definitely deserved to win, but they advance on aggregate so who cares. Riise had a couple of chances to score for Liverpool but kept hitting the crossbar.

The French champions Lyon got beat by Roma 2-0 with Totti scoring a sick header and Mancini doing about 8 MILLION step overs before finally hitting the back of the net.

The game that I still have left to watch on the DVR is Chelsea vs Porto. I have already seen the highlights of the game and the score (2-1), but will probably watch the entire thing tonight because there is nothing on. It's about time that Ballack scored!

The last game on tap is the one getting the most press, Inter vs Valencia. The game ended in a 0-0 tie and a brawl. The Italian champions will be going home early also because Valencia wins on aggregate. Watch the video of the fight below:

Why Don't I Watch More Women's Volleyball?

With hopes of expanding my ever growing knowledge of the sports universe, I will now be tuning in to watch more Florida Gator Women's Volleyball and women's volleyball in general. I have always been a fan of the sport, but Kari has helped me remember why it is such a visibly appealing activity. Here is a list of other sports I will now be watching based on my other head:

Amy Acuff - High Jump







Jenny Adams - Track and Field






Amanda Beard - Swimming






Tanith Belbin - Figure Skating







Lindsay Benko - Swimming






Gretchen Bleiler - Snowboarding






Haley Cope - Swimming






Jackie Frank - Water Polo








Niki Gudex - Mountain Biking





Natalie Gulbis - Golf





Jeannette Lee - Billiards






Kristi Liskinen - Skiing





Lokelani McMichael - Triathlete





Heather Olsen - Synchronized Swimming






There are many additional "sports" out there for me to watch, these are just a small sample.

Gator Babe (Sports Illustrated)
Women of Sports (Sports-Wired)