Mid-Morning Roundup

Chicks + Sports Blogging = Sports by Brooks. Read a good interview here. (The Big Picture)

A-Rod finally doing what he should have been doing all along (winning games). (SI)

Jen Sterger and Kurt Vonnegut both don't know sports, but have worked with Sports Illustrated. (Sports by Brooks)

Here's something new, College Football players actually being kicked off the team for doing something wrong. (EDSBS)

Pacman is really sorry, so sorry that he's taking out a full page ad to let people know. (ESPN)

Oden ready to get his game on. Conley and Cook not so much. (The Big Lead)

Do you like Italian? The Offside WAG of the week is a winner in my book. (The Offside)

Wine, Champagne and Victoria Silvstedt - The Perfect Vacation

I'm back like a migraine headache ready to irritate the hell out of you. I had the best vacation any American could hope for. I'm convinced that every person in France has at least half of the year off and the other half they pretend to work. I didn't have to travel all over the place and see a bunch of crap I don't really care about this time and it made for a much better experience. I got to relax outside in the sun and eat and drink like a fat guy at a buffet.

I couple of things that really stood out this time around in France were:

1. Television in Europe is much better than here in the States.

There aren't as many commercials and there's nudity! Although I didn't notice as many naked chicks this time around I did get to see Victoria Silvstedt do a much better job than Vanna White on the French version of Wheel of Fortune. You actually watch the show when there's someone that hot.

2. Watching the Champions League in prime time is better than the Super Bowl.

Obviously it's much bigger in Europe and seeing it at 8:00 at night is much better then watching it at 11:00 in the morning online here in the States (or recorded on my DVR). Everybody is off work and the atmosphere is kind of like the Super Bowl only better (maybe it was the champagne or the 2 bottles of wine). I got to watch most of the matches with my wife's cousins, who play at the amateur level and know how to keep the wine flowing. The first leg of the Bayern Munich-AC Milan match-up was some of the best soccer I have ever seen. That was one of the best things I have seen in sports in a long time.

Highlight: My boys (Manchester United) humiliating AC Roma (7-1) in a Quarter Final match. C. Ronaldo is untouchable right now.

3. Wine and lots of time off are the secrets to a longer life

My wife's parents threw a party for us while we were there and I got to meet more of my wife's older relatives. Once again the wine and champagne were flowing and I ended up having a conversation with an 93 year old lady (in French). She was completely coherent and was willing to let me in on her secret for living so long and looking at least 20 years younger than she was. She told me that she eats well all of the time and drinks one glass of wine with lunch and dinner. She also stays away from "stress". When she use to work she had 10 weeks off a year and enjoyed visiting some of her family in the States on vacation.

It was one of those nights that made me realize that I needed to make a change in my life. I haven't yet, but at least I'm more aware of it now. My wife is still in France with my kids and it will give me some more time to plan what we are going to do. Whether that means moving to France or finding another place to move to, I need to go somewhere that I'm not as stressed out so often.

Additional Notes:

Youth Soccer is for fun and not made to be a competitive thing. Kids don't compete in competitive soccer until they are 11 in most of France. I think it's a much better idea, not because of the kids but the parents. Parents tend to want to push their kids to be the best and in doing so burn them out early.

The French Rugby Team wear pink jerseys, but kick ass during the game.

There is more yogurt in a French super market then dudes in a strip club.


All in all I had a really good time on vacation and can't wait till I retire and move to France so I can eat and drink and not be stressed out.

Not All Sports Channels Were Created Equal

I haven't really been posting for the last few days because I'm getting geared up for 2 weeks of European sports viewing action. Today marks my 1 week countdown to European vacation. Not the kind of European vacation that you might be thinking. There will be no Amsterdam or late night raves out at the Disco-tech. I won't be sleeping at a Hostel or meeting promiscuous Swedish twins that get naked at the drop of a hat. It won't be quite that good! It will however be a vacation in which I won't be bothered by my employer. Which for those of us that work way too much and get paid way too little is a godsend. I will be completely detached from the world (internet) for two weeks.

Once every other year my family and I make our pilgrimage to my wife's place of origin in the North of France. For two weeks I get to eat and drink as much bread, wine and cheese as I want. It has become a time for me to fully relax and give my mind a rest. The good thing about being American and going to Normandy (where my wife is from) is they love us there. The whole D-Day thing really gave us a good name. I guess if I were getting my ass annihilated and some people came and saved me, I'd be pretty stoked too.

Anyway, I usually feel like I'm the King of the castle when I'm there. My wife's family usually cater to me because I'm an American who only gets 2 weeks of vacation instead of the 6 weeks they get. Which means that I can wake up whenever I want and don't have to worry about my kids bothering me about breakfast. Another good thing is that when your French isn't that great, like mine, you can pretend like you don't know whats going on. I understand about 98% of what her family says and the other 2% I usually just say I get, but the speaking part is what saves me. I also watch as much television as I want and don't have to hear about it from my wife because of this. When they're talking about family things I slip away and start watching French TV. For those that don't know, European television is basically Cinemax-lite. The reason I say that is because it's like watching soft-core porn. There are always shows with naked women on, even at 9:00 in the morning.

When I'm done getting my daily fix of non-edited euro-sex action I change the channel to Canal+ Sports. This is France's version of ESPN. If you don't like Soccer or Formula 1 then you might as well change the station back to Debbie Does Paris or whatever sex-athon show that's on. You might occasional get a glimpse of some NFL or NBA highlights, but don't count on it. They pretty much get the same amount of air play as ESPN gives to soccer (little to none). Don't even think about Baseball highlights. The best thing about their sports stations are the sportscasters. They make me laugh. It always seems like one guy is always yelling during the highlights. I think they want us to believe that we're really at the stadiums with the fans or something. If it weren't for the UEFA Cup coming up while I'm there, I would really be in trouble. This year I will be in France for both legs of the Quarterfinals. I intend on going to a local pub with my wife's cousins to watch the matches and drink a few too many.

I hope to rest up while I'm there and come back to life in the States with a renewed attitude. One that will hopefully allow me to start blogging a lot more and focus more of my time on things I want to do rather than the things I have to do. I will be posting sporadically throughout the next week and will be on hiatus until April 16th after that. Au revoir!

Mid-Morning Roundup

Greg Oden deserves to party with hot white girls after last night's last minute swat. (The Big Lead)

Tubby Smith is going where? Minnesota is an upgrade? (Rumors and Rants)

Koby is still on a tear and apparently wants the ball. (Signal to Noise)

Joey Porter gets thrown like a little girl. (Sports by Brooks)

Nothing like the WAG of the WEEK to really research European culture. (The Offside)

Beer or Birth Control? You might want to splurge on protection. (AP)

Mid-Morning Roundup

David Carr gets shafted by the man, better known as the Texans head office. (Signal to Noise)

Suzy Kolber vs. Rachel Nichols. Who you got? (The Big Picture)

Tom Brady isn't batting 1000 anymore. (The Big Lead)

Falling asleep at a stop light when you have been drinking is never a good thing. (Deadspin)

If you have seen the movie '300' then you might want to enter this contest. (Bodog)

Is Kobe trying to pedal some 'Nike' to Durant? (LA Times)

A-Rod getting ready for the opt-out portion of his contract and maybe a new friend to have sleep-overs with. (NY Times)

Raiders sign the other Booty to play QB. I'm sure they will be looking at Jeff George again later this month.

Carmen Electra might be a lesbian? I wish it was with someone hotter, maybe like Sienna Miller. (Starpulse)

Late-Morning Roundup

Hey, if Jeff Garcia wants to parade around like he's straight I can respect that, but don't steal a playmate from Hef. (The Hater Nation)

All the other GM's want to be like Mike. (Signal to Noise)

North Carolina just love their basketball team. (Awful Announcing)

"Little Ronaldo" celebrates his birthday today. (The Offside)

George Foreman becomes a judge. It's not an eating contest, is it? (AP)

Scarlett Johansson likes the elderly. What the hell is she thinking? (People)

Mid-Morning Roundup

Pam Oliver vs. Stacey Dales. Who you got? (The Big Picture)

Tim Floyd gets a second chance and a team that doesn't suck. (Extrapolater)

Trouble finds those that can't keep their hands to themselves. Especially roid-rage NFL freaks. (The Big Lead)

Hooligan disguised as a Soccer Dad leaves his mark, an umbrella spoke. (Herald Sun via The Offside)

Where is Quentin Jammer when you need pass interference explained? (Signal to Noise)

Better get the shots and stripper pole ready for the new winner because we know what that contest does to innocent girls. (AP)

St. Patrick's Day - A Day To Drink As Much As You Can And Not Feel Guilty

It used to be a day that I couldn't remember due to the amount of Guinness I would drink, but now with the addition of my two kids, not so much. Tomorrow, on the other hand, I will be attending a "family-style" St. Patty's Day party. I'm not sure if that means I can recruit some of the older kids to watch mine while I drink or if I have to stay completely sober because everyone acts like they're Mormon. My wife hasn't given me the rundown so I'm hoping that it's an actually drinking event. Anyway, have a great weekend and a couple of green beers for me.

Mid-Morning Roundup

Duke gets beat by VCU and help to make my life much happier. (Clubber Lang's Basement)

Tank Johnson gets 120 days in jail. I'm sure he's planning on celebrating with some uzzies when he gets out. (Chicago Bears)

The 4 vs 5 match-up isn't an easy one. It really comes down to what you like more, Blonde or Brunette? (The Big Picture)

Lakers lose their seventh in a row. Hey Zen master, have you heard of teaching some defense? (LA Times)

Eagles get the last white receiver left in free agency. (ESPN)

Oprah battles Leno for Posh Spice. Damn she's hot, Oprah of course. (Pink Football)

Carmen would rather stay home with me than go out with you. (People)

Mid-Morning Roundup

Jenn Sterger doesn't care what she ends up doing for a living. Why not become the nanny for my kids? (The Big Picture)

Which % of the country will see which games? It's not looking to good for you if you want to watch the Nevada-Creighton game. (USA Today)

Suns beat the Mavs in double-OT. Steve Nash just won his third MVP. (SI)

Pete Rose is a douche-bag who bet on his team 'every day'. (The Big Lead)

Raiders impressed with JaMarcus Russell, and so are the all-you-can eat buffets. (2theadvocate)

Gary Matthews Jr. didn't use HGH, he just waited 16 days to say so. (Babes Love Baseball)

Mid-Morning Roundup

Lance Briggs is not a baby, he just needs a hug and some more money. (AOL Sports)

Niagara earn the right to get blown out by Kansas. (March Madness Time)

Europe's finest can't handle the red devils, but who can? (Fox Sports)

Those kindergarten kids are back to calculate the world soccer rankings. (FIFA)

I hate it when Unicorns take over at the wheel. They never seem to be able to handle u-turns. (AP)

I like the idea of cricket now, but only because you really showed me how to play the game. (Sports by Brooks)

Mid-Morning Roundup

Charger fans have a new reason to jump on the bandwagon. (Union Tribune)

When 6 games under .500 is a good thing. East Coast NBA Basketball just sucks. (Awful Announcing)

Chris Simon only gets a 25 game suspension for being part of the NHL mafia. (Bleatings From a Caps Nut)

The Head Butt King has turned down playing with the European All-stars against my boys, Manchester United. Now that's an All-Star Team. (The Offsides)

The hot chick from the MTV show "Laguna Beach", Kristin Cavallari got branded by her boyfriend. What's next a barcode across the back of her neck? (NY Post)

Mid-Morning Roundup - Hoops, Futbol and Milfs

UCLA get ousted by Cal. Say bye-bye to the #1 overall seed. (LA Times)

Champions League draw set for the quarter-finals. I'm liking Manchester United chances even without the Swed. (The Offsides)

Top 10 Sports Blog stories. There's no chance you will ever see anything from me here. Have you read my stuff? (Our Book of Scrap via Chicago Sports Review)

Thanks George Bush, Peyton Manning is all messed up with this new daylight savings thing. (The Onion)

This guy deserved the Nobel Prize. I need one of these at home and at the office. (AP)

How the hell did she get knocked up? I'm pretty sure we used protection. (NY Post)

Morning Roundup - Drugs, Extortion and Naked American Idol Girls

John Rocker took HGH? The guy was just waiting for some more time in the spot light. Hey John, your 15 minutes are up! (Rumors and Rants)

Ron Artest finally caught Bitch-slapping. This guy needs a home gym with a heavy bag. (USA Today)

Ronnie Belliard gets extorted. You might want to keep your junk in your pants. (Sports Illustrated)

American Idol girls - there's good naked and bad naked, you figure out which is which. (Metroville)

Why Don't I Watch More Women's Volleyball?

With hopes of expanding my ever growing knowledge of the sports universe, I will now be tuning in to watch more Florida Gator Women's Volleyball and women's volleyball in general. I have always been a fan of the sport, but Kari has helped me remember why it is such a visibly appealing activity. Here is a list of other sports I will now be watching based on my other head:

Amy Acuff - High Jump







Jenny Adams - Track and Field






Amanda Beard - Swimming






Tanith Belbin - Figure Skating







Lindsay Benko - Swimming






Gretchen Bleiler - Snowboarding






Haley Cope - Swimming






Jackie Frank - Water Polo








Niki Gudex - Mountain Biking





Natalie Gulbis - Golf





Jeannette Lee - Billiards






Kristi Liskinen - Skiing





Lokelani McMichael - Triathlete





Heather Olsen - Synchronized Swimming






There are many additional "sports" out there for me to watch, these are just a small sample.

Gator Babe (Sports Illustrated)
Women of Sports (Sports-Wired)

DON'T SAY I NEVER GAVE YOU ANYTHING

As a thank you to all of the sports bloggers out there that have helped me this past week get my feet wet I present you with this token of my appreciation. I'm still coming into my own in the sports blog arena and the more help I can get for traffic the better. Thanks!

Heather Mitts Back in Action?

I just read over at Sports By Brooks that there is a group of investors that are looking to relaunch a professional women's soccer league. I won't lie, I would rather have watched the WUSA when it was on than the MLS (3 years ago). Both of the leagues sucked in my opinion anyway, but at least the women were dominating the world at the time and they had a couple of hot chicks. If they do follow through with the relaunch I hope they have a better plan this time. Maybe if they have the WNBA play the WUSA more people would watch both leagues. They could make it like the XFL with crazy names and hot girls on the sidelines. Wait, that didn't work either. Oh well, at least we can watch Heather Mitts again.