Friday, March 23, 2007

Not All Sports Channels Were Created Equal


I haven't really been posting for the last few days because I'm getting geared up for 2 weeks of European sports viewing action. Today marks my 1 week countdown to European vacation. Not the kind of European vacation that you might be thinking. There will be no Amsterdam or late night raves out at the Disco-tech. I won't be sleeping at a Hostel or meeting promiscuous Swedish twins that get naked at the drop of a hat. It won't be quite that good! It will however be a vacation in which I won't be bothered by my employer. Which for those of us that work way too much and get paid way too little is a godsend. I will be completely detached from the world (internet) for two weeks.

Once every other year my family and I make our pilgrimage to my wife's place of origin in the North of France. For two weeks I get to eat and drink as much bread, wine and cheese as I want. It has become a time for me to fully relax and give my mind a rest. The good thing about being American and going to Normandy (where my wife is from) is they love us there. The whole D-Day thing really gave us a good name. I guess if I were getting my ass annihilated and some people came and saved me, I'd be pretty stoked too.

Anyway, I usually feel like I'm the King of the castle when I'm there. My wife's family usually cater to me because I'm an American who only gets 2 weeks of vacation instead of the 6 weeks they get. Which means that I can wake up whenever I want and don't have to worry about my kids bothering me about breakfast. Another good thing is that when your French isn't that great, like mine, you can pretend like you don't know whats going on. I understand about 98% of what her family says and the other 2% I usually just say I get, but the speaking part is what saves me. I also watch as much television as I want and don't have to hear about it from my wife because of this. When they're talking about family things I slip away and start watching French TV. For those that don't know, European television is basically Cinemax-lite. The reason I say that is because it's like watching soft-core porn. There are always shows with naked women on, even at 9:00 in the morning.

When I'm done getting my daily fix of non-edited euro-sex action I change the channel to Canal+ Sports. This is France's version of ESPN. If you don't like Soccer or Formula 1 then you might as well change the station back to Debbie Does Paris or whatever sex-athon show that's on. You might occasional get a glimpse of some NFL or NBA highlights, but don't count on it. They pretty much get the same amount of air play as ESPN gives to soccer (little to none). Don't even think about Baseball highlights. The best thing about their sports stations are the sportscasters. They make me laugh. It always seems like one guy is always yelling during the highlights. I think they want us to believe that we're really at the stadiums with the fans or something. If it weren't for the UEFA Cup coming up while I'm there, I would really be in trouble. This year I will be in France for both legs of the Quarterfinals. I intend on going to a local pub with my wife's cousins to watch the matches and drink a few too many.

I hope to rest up while I'm there and come back to life in the States with a renewed attitude. One that will hopefully allow me to start blogging a lot more and focus more of my time on things I want to do rather than the things I have to do. I will be posting sporadically throughout the next week and will be on hiatus until April 16th after that. Au revoir!

14 comments:

Unknown said...

Hey,

for the ESPN of France, think Sport+ or Eurosport.

Because Canal+Sport, is truly for soccer and a little rugby.

Anonymous said...

Hey I hope have a great time buddy.

And shit, if you can get you're wife to dress up in that heidi outfit then I'm sure you will do!

Anonymous said...

You won the bracket comp on AA! Congratulations sports dad!

And double congrats if you got your wife to wear that heidi outfit afterall!

THN said...

Wow, I'm moving to Europe.

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