Dancing With The Stars - Better Known As Athletes Anonymous

Why didn't I DVR "Dancing with the Stars" last night? Oh, that's right, because I still have my balls attached. Although some of the girls on the show are hot, I just can't seem to muster up the strength to sit through stars ex-stars trying to revive their careers by learning how to dance on national TV. It's a popularity contest anyway. For some reason there always seems to be an athlete that does well in the competition though. Jerry Rice did well the first season and Emmitt Smith won last season. This season has Laila Ali, Clyde Drexler and Apolo Anton Ohno all competing for a chance to be in the spotlight again for 15 minutes. Laila will never get as much attention as her father, Clyde was unlucky enough to have played during the Jordan era and is an afterthought of many and Ohno (who?) ice skates for a living. Look guys, if you really want to be in a reality competition, then take Clyde's approach and go on "Pros vs. Joes". You might actually do something your good at rather than look stupid trying to do the Waltz with a tux on.

I guess I understand their logic behind being on the show, but I'm gonna hate having to hear about how good "Clyde the Glide" did on his Samba routine. It's just wrong! I guess if your really hard up and there is nothing else on TV you can give it a shot. I myself would rather watch the same episode of Sponge Bob Square Pants over and over again with my kids.

Bet On: Will Heather Mills prosthetic leg fall off during a dance routine on Dancing with the Stars 4? (Scroll to the bottom)

Mid-Morning Roundup

Pam Oliver vs. Stacey Dales. Who you got? (The Big Picture)

Tim Floyd gets a second chance and a team that doesn't suck. (Extrapolater)

Trouble finds those that can't keep their hands to themselves. Especially roid-rage NFL freaks. (The Big Lead)

Hooligan disguised as a Soccer Dad leaves his mark, an umbrella spoke. (Herald Sun via The Offside)

Where is Quentin Jammer when you need pass interference explained? (Signal to Noise)

Better get the shots and stripper pole ready for the new winner because we know what that contest does to innocent girls. (AP)

The Other Cobi In LA Is Ready To Retire

At a press conference today held at the Home Depot Center, 36 year old Cobi Jones announced that he will retire after the 2007 season. Tim Leiweke, President and CEO of the LA Galaxy had this to say,

"A couple of months ago, Cobi and I had a chance to catch up and have lunch," Leiweke said. "And we sat down and Cobi said, 'Look, there's something I have to tell you. I'm going to retire.'

"And I said, 'Well, that's too bad. I think we've got David Beckham.'

"Then Cobi immediately said, 'At the end of this next season.'

This is pretty big news for me. Cobi is one of the main reasons why I really took an interest in soccer more than 15 years ago. I don't know if it was because I thought he was Bob Marley or if it was his skill with the ball. I remember watching Alexi Lalas and him in the 1994 World Cup. The first time we actually made it to the knockout round. We eventually got beat by Brazil of course, but that team just had something about them and I think Cobi had a lot to do with it. Coby also played for the 1998 and 2002 World Cup Teams and has 15 international goals during his time with the National Team.

I always thought that he would be one of the few Americans that would actually be able to play oversees. He did play one season in the EPL and half a season in Brazil until he eventually came home to help the MLS gain popularity. He has played for the LA Galaxy since the leagues inception and holds the records for games(281), goals(66) and assists(86) for the team. I'll be interested to see how he does with Beckham on the team this year. I think that the Galaxy will definitely be up there when the playoffs come around (which isn't saying much because the MLS sucks). I hope Cobi has a good year and scores some goals. I'm sure after the season is done and he retires he will be announcing games and we can finally get rid of Eric Wynalda.

Cobi Jones to retire (LA Times)

Mid-Afternoon Roundup - St. Patty's Edition

It was a great weekend filled with Guinness and NCAA Basketball. I haven't been posting much because I have been busy at work and the tournament is on. Multi-tasking when you have two active boys isn't the easiest thing to do. Anyway, here are a couple of quick links and thoughts for you to digest.

Betting is definitely not my forte. I'm taking place in an invite only Battle of the Blogs over at NBX Sportsbook and so far I'm only $21,000 in the hole. (NBX)


Joey Porter just got paid and is handing out beat-downs. (The Big Lead)

The love-feast for Kobe continues... (Union Tribune)

Jerramy Stevens enters my list of top 10 guys not to live next to at #1. (Kissing Suzy Kolber)

Keeper vs. Keeper and you just got bounced. (The Offside)

Little brother got the hook up and didn't even have to dance. (People)

St. Patrick's Day - A Day To Drink As Much As You Can And Not Feel Guilty

It used to be a day that I couldn't remember due to the amount of Guinness I would drink, but now with the addition of my two kids, not so much. Tomorrow, on the other hand, I will be attending a "family-style" St. Patty's Day party. I'm not sure if that means I can recruit some of the older kids to watch mine while I drink or if I have to stay completely sober because everyone acts like they're Mormon. My wife hasn't given me the rundown so I'm hoping that it's an actually drinking event. Anyway, have a great weekend and a couple of green beers for me.

How To Survive Work When The NCAA Tournament Is On

Most sports literate people were smart enough to take yesterday and today off. I on the other hand have been forced to work because I have a planned vacation with my family at the end of the month and can't afford to. So what have I done for the last day and a half?

With a manager like mine you have to be creative to stay up to date with the scores. There are a multitude of different sites you can use to stay in the know, but I use a mixture of "live blogs" and the big two to help make my life easier. Thanks to the guys over at Awful Announcing and Deadspin I could actually get a "normal guys" play by play of the games. I also have the scoreboards on ESPN and Sportsline open at all times. I use the Split Browser Firefox add-on to have all windows open simultaneously. When I hear my boss coming I immediately Alt-Tab and act like I'm not wasting the company's money. One of my fellow workers was clever enough to hide a small TV on his desk to watch the games today. I'm trying my hardest to adjust my seat to watch from a far. It's definitely a juggling act and one in which I don't plan on using in the future, but if it gets me through the day without knocking my boss out then I'm happy.

Mid-Morning Roundup

Duke gets beat by VCU and help to make my life much happier. (Clubber Lang's Basement)

Tank Johnson gets 120 days in jail. I'm sure he's planning on celebrating with some uzzies when he gets out. (Chicago Bears)

The 4 vs 5 match-up isn't an easy one. It really comes down to what you like more, Blonde or Brunette? (The Big Picture)

Lakers lose their seventh in a row. Hey Zen master, have you heard of teaching some defense? (LA Times)

Eagles get the last white receiver left in free agency. (ESPN)

Oprah battles Leno for Posh Spice. Damn she's hot, Oprah of course. (Pink Football)

Carmen would rather stay home with me than go out with you. (People)